It's pretty long since my last post .

So many things that He had brought me through , were so memerable.

I know why His doing this , why he let everything happened , i know everything , but one thing i forgot is that , don't over response to my emotions .

When nightmares become the reality , it's hard for me to accept. I thought i will be okay and trying my best to believe that i will be fine for he is with me . But when my aunty called that night , i know God is speaking through her mouth that i m only strong at pretending but deep inside ... it's so broken......Again God just speak through her mouth which i was so believed and seems have forgotten there days , I want to be a GENERAL for him but not a sodier , someone BIG in his eyes but not just someone..

It seems thati have been fallen into these overwelming circumstances . Thanks for reminding

me again.

There's many times i juzt want to be alone and keep my self busy will anythingican do , watch movies juz to attrack my attention to somewhere else , somewhere far . But whenever i see you , know it's useless to run away .

God you know , it's really hurts .

when you doing something deep in me , my heart just breaks and my tears juz drop of , even if i m walking on the street.

God , the Love , only u can restore.

God remenber when you told me that "pure Joy" thing？ i know it's not by accident , not only because i juz cnt concentrate well in tution . My tears , i hope he nv saw .

God , it's never the end , i know there are many other tasks waiting for me to do , so i cnt stay where m i now .

Pure Joy ! oneday , i will do something great for you !